Nov 5, 2013

Irrational (or are they SO rational...) Baby-Related Fears

I think I've been spending too much time alone in my recliner with the baby because I'm getting a little crazy.  Here's what I've been worrying about lately...
I should be worrying he'll fall out of a book case...but I'm not.
  • What if I get in a car accident because I'm so tired I'm not paying close enough attention so I pull in front of a car and it slams right into me killing me instantly and leaving my children motherless?  (That's a normal worry, right?)
  • What if the little bump on Baby's forehead isn't a harmless cyst?  What if it never goes away?   What if kids tease him about it in elementary school 'cause kids are bratty? What if it's cancer?
  • What if the fact that Baby still hasn't made eye contact with me means he's autistic?  Sure, call me crazy (Doug has) but if in seven years we find out I'm right, I'll refer you all back to this post.
  • What if after four healthy kids, this is the one who ends up with childhood leukemia?
  • What if I slip at the top of the stairs when I'm holding the baby?  Will I be able to hold him up out of harms way even as I plummet downward and land in a crumpled heap at the bottom?  (I think about this pretty much every time I'm at the top of the stairs holding the baby.)
  • Is he too attached to the binky?  Is it causing nipple confusion?  Is it messing with his appetite?  (Sub worry:  Is writing "nipple" on my blog going to attract a bunch of weirdos?)
  • What if he stops taking the binky and STARTS SUCKING HIS THUMB!  Doug will never forgive him!  (This might be a slight exaggeration, but Doug definitely wouldn't like it.)
  • Am I feeding him too much?  Not enough?  Too on-demand?  Not on-demand enough?  Am I ruining his chances of ever sleeping through the night?
  • Am I neglecting him because I look at electronics too much while I nurse?  I mean, I give him a lot of attention, I kiss him a LOT, and hold him pretty much non-stop, but am I still too distracted?  I'm inside my own head too much.  I need to talk and sing to him more.
  • Is the laptop giving off electromagnetic rays that will give him cancer?
  • Is my poor diet making it so he'll never love vegetables?  I read that I should be drinking carrot juice to give him a taste for carrots.  But I hate carrot juice!  Instead I eat chocolate every day.  He'll definitely have a taste for chocolate.
  • I should watch fewer sit-coms like The Goldbergs, and more L.D.S. church talks so he grows up to be a prophet instead of a stand-up comedian.
I love this picture though Doug wasn't thrilled with his receding hair line.
  • Am I completely neglecting Max, Sam and Gabe?
  • Am I spoiling Gray because I'm giving in to him so much because I don't want him to resent Baby?
  • Do all of these irrational fears making me completely crazy?  
Well?
Do they???

At least I'm not worried vending machines will become the dominant race.  I have that going for me.  (See Dr. Doofenshmirtz below...)

"I've been alone all these years, with my irrational fears..."

1 comments:

Rachel Millburn said...

Sooo true... but he's your fifth... so do you have more fears with the last than the first?